Have you ever wondered what a conversation between Love, Fear, Hope and Loss be like? These are what our thoughts, emotions and hence most parts of our life is made of. Lets witness the drama, as Love, Fear, Hope and Loss go through the alarm of explaining themselves to each other. By getting to know them better, May be we can get to know ourselves better.
They met at infinity, the blue from the sky and the blue from the pristine lakes. They wrapped on each other, at that point, like they were meant and made for each other. Love, smiled at that sight with pride, for she got to see the elegance with which she expresses herself at that point in infinity. In close proximity was Hope, savouring the sight of that caressing kiss coming on to each other; and thought to herself, that she in her spirits makes the impossible possible. For, things that are evidently so far apart can come to be one, just by hanging in there and being what they are. Hope knew, that between Now and never anything can happen and that is where she lives – between the Now and Never.
Fear did not even have anything to brace on to as she looked at love and saw loss; turned away to look at hope and saw nothing. Fear could feel her tremor, as she tried to get the balance she is never capable of. She lives like the droplet of water that tries to find its balance on a leaf, as it sways in the unknown vastness of the oceans, to try and save herself from drowning. In the attempt, she is in constant battle with everything around her, like how the droplet of water battles for its balance with the wind, the sway, the ripples, and the fluidity of her ground.
Loss was not interested in being looked at or in looking at the Glory of Love, the Promise of Hope nor the agony of fear. They didn’t mean anything to her. Loss is Everything and Nothing at the same time. All it knows is to live its weight, it takes all the pounding and beating; and has nothing left in itself to give or take.
Love wanted to lend its hand to Loss, Love wanted Loss to see that kiss in the infinity so it can get to experience the ecstasy of Love. Love decided to open the conversation, while Hope looked on, ‘Do not be stuck where you are, Loss; you do not have to carry the weight of the world. Let Go of that which is weighing you down. Embrace me, Embrace Love!‘ Loss looked up in disbelief and looked back down. A more determined Love continued, ‘Give yourself a chance to redeem. What are you going to gain in holding on to a lost cause! The only thing that heals is Love, here, take my hand!’
Hope swallowed what she wanted to say and chose to reside in silence, as Loss gazed at Love in contempt and said, ‘Take my hand!? ….Really?… Don’t you see, that I am what I am because of my inability to Let Go of you? …Do you not realise that it is you, Love, that is weighing me down. I am Loss because I do not do the kind of Love that sticks and shines only in the times of glitz and glamour. I am Loss because, I do not Love only when it is convenient and comfortable. I do not Love for convenience, I know to Love when it is no So! I am Loss because I Love in the darkest of days, I Love in angst, anger and agony. I Love even when you have nothing to give me. I Love even when you have given up on me. I do not know how to stop loving when all the giggles have gone home and has left me gasping in tears. You call my Love a lost cause , I know no cause, no reason. You call this destruction, Yes, I Love even if its means and cost is my own self-destruction. I am not the Love that goes away when it hurts. Yes, Love, you heal but you also hurt. I am Loss because I Love with no If’s or But’s; I am Loss because I am you in its most purest form and I Love because I do not know how not to!”
Love was taken aback. She could not believe how she has failed herself completely, and wondered why she didn’t have the capacity to identify herself in Loss. She was blank as she processed the feeling, as it felt like looking into a mirror and failing to see herself in it. She didn’t know what she was blind to.
Hope was unable to hold it in anymore, her rage and hence her blaze was beyond her point of control. “That is the problem with you Love. Having you around is as big an agony as not having you. Your self-righteousness needs a check. You are ecstasy and agony, Do you get that?… You do not get to pick a side and project yourself only as the glitter and glamour of life. The problem with you is that you are misleading yourself and others. You in your ecstasy promise the impossible; you want to be me? …You can only be yourself, you cannot be me! Love, you do not have it in you to be Hope. You in your nature can only be for the other and with the other through light and dark. You mislead with no power or capacity the Promise of Hope and when your ecstasy drains out, everything runs out. Are you getting this? … As to why Loss and Fear see me and see nothing? …Because they do not know that I exist on my own. All they know is your misleading promises! You are a disgrace to yourself, Love!”
Love had always thought Hope and her are allies and never did she know that Hope will have anything to blame her for. The confrontation ripped Love of her dignity and she did not have anything in her defence.
As she battled herself, Fear tremors more because of what she heard. Her instincts did what she would always strive for, come in to rescue and defend. Fear tremors for all it wants to do is to save what it loves; “You do not get to say that Hope! Now understand this, I do not see you and I do not have the time to get to know you, as I am constantly busy saving what I love. I stand up in many ways, for what I love. I would come across as rage, anger, anxiety, insecurity, and timidness. I rage and roar to protect and hang on to all that I Love. But, no one interprets me as a saviour, I am only seen as that which needs to gotten rid off. But that does not stop me from being me. It is not, ‘what you are not seen as’ or ‘seen to be’, and to put it straight for you, it is not that you must be seen at all that matters, for you to be you! Stop craving acknowledgement and attention. Irrespective of how you are seen, or If you are seen at all, just be you. Hope, just be there”.
Fear continued, “Love promises because it loves, it aspires to be the world and be the best for what it loves and hence it promises. And may be, Love fails to live up to her expectations, but why is that stopping you from being the Hope that you are? … May be, Love wanted to be you and it failed and as you say not all Love is as good as the Love that is in Loss. May be, not all Love can endure and persevere and be itself through the thick of hurt, resentment, regret, guilt and disappointment. May be, it wanted to endure and persevere and just that it was not able to do so for reason even Love does not know! Hope, can you not crave for invitations and wait until you are called out for? … Like how you put it, can you not be a disgrace to yourself?…”
“Because I am not that which you are and do not act in the same way as you do, I am a Disgrace? … Fear, You are so full of yourself!’ Hope replied in her defence.
Fear was fierce when she said, “I am the enabler of caution and consciousness as I strive to protect what I Love, while you strive for attention and invitation”
“Oh Yes, Fear! All glory to you for all the many ways in which you manifest and for all the number of times you kill me in the name of saving me” Love screamed out loud. “The Problem is not that you react, the catastrophe is that you overreact“
“My instinct is to protect you, Love“, Fear replied.
“Yes, Only, you get to kill me, in the name of protecting me”, Love anguished.
How I know myself to be as against how I come across to the other – Love, Hope, Fear and Loss bombarded and blazed against each other in this blame game. Each knew who they were, but little did they know as to how they come across to each other and the impact they had on each other. The voices of blame began to louden and overlap as Love, Hope, Fear and Loss continue to exert and express the traits they were made of. They go round and round and get no where. The voices are now in disarray, with Love, Fear, Hope and Loss screaming and reinforcing their right of will and in its process they were all collapsing into the abyss of blame. They were desperate to pin down on whose fault this was.
Is it because Love aspires to be that, it is not?
Is it Hope, playing hide and seek and wants for it be sought after?
Is it Fear, that is ruling and restricting the roost with its tensed and tightened ropes? or
Is it Loss, that overwhelms itself and others by not knowing what to do with its Love?
Amidst, the chaos a voice spoke,
“So, you are looking for an answer? …You Love, Fear, Hope and Loss you want to find where and with whom the fault lies? …So you can fix it? …”
Love, Fear, Hope and Loss nodded in unison.
“Then, listen closely as I speak the truth to you. I do not want you to take offence. Even if you do take offence, it will be yours to deal with. There are three iterative orders you need to come in terms with and if you can come in terms with them and see through those understandings, it will reveal and pin down the one at fault here.”
Love, Fear, Hope and Loss were ready to hear those truths and dive into its understandings. Fear was little apprehensive, and with some hesitation, she asked, “who are you? …Why do you even want to help? …Also, I feel you are going to give us the answer that though we appear to be different, and express ourselves differently Love, Fear, Hope and Loss are manifestations of the same thing..”
“Haha, I am never that obvious! And I can see your cautious instinct come to play here. Also, regarding that who am I question, You will come to know, you do not have to trust me, just trust yourself, to live through this conversation” the voice replied.
There settled in a keen silence that wanted to listen ,
“The explosive power and agility with which each of you expressed and exploded only reinforces why you- Love, Fear, Hope and Loss are the immortal elements that make up life, you are the theatre that allows for life to exist. Hope, let me save you first. Fear, accused you of being the attention seeker, the sadist, the one who waits to be called for! Yes, Fear is right! Fear, her instincts for that matter are only right. No, No Hope! This is what you are made of. Hope, you are a function of struggle and you can appear only when you are called for. The trench of darkness is where one can find you and that is where you get to be the light. So, you have to wait until the darkness engulfs. You are guilty as accused and be gracefully so. But do understand that this is what Fear gets to see from where she resides and what she in her capacity knows. Remember, Truths could contradict, … but they can co-exist”
Hope could suddenly appreciate the death-defying balance that fear is capable of; she was convinced that truths can co-exist.
The voice turned to Fear, “So have you figured out the truths you have to co-exist with? … Love finds your hold suffocating, for the way you cling her with all your might. Yes, Love is all you have got; while you say that in your defence, love anguishes with rage in her defence. Love is fierce both in fights and forgiveness; she is infinitely complex in the way she expresses. Remember, Truths could contradict, they can co-exist and also go on to complement one another“.
Love and Fear exchanged those glances that were accommodative of each others truths.
Loss knew it was her turn now, the voice needed to take a deep breath before it continued, “Love and Loss – the cause and consequence! Loss, on a personal note, I have much to thank you. I admire your conviction and commitment to Love, the only thing I would like to let you know is that you do not have to feel sorry about it. What is weighing you down is self-pity and not the Love you are holding on to. No truth exists in self-pity, shed that armour and live your truth of loss, gracefully. Accept that you have lost, lost something you cannot replace, there is no shame is loving till you burst. You in your nature strive to love in loss, you can do that with more grace. You are okay as you are! “
Loss felt a sense of relief, as for once no one wanted to change her into that she is not.
“Love, as simple as you are, you have been that complex riddle to experience. That is because of the numerous ways in which you express yourself, and you have to be so because you care; you care in many ways and you are uncompromising. The fault is not in your ability to live up to your standard, but that it is distorted by perceptions and crippled by forces that go on to enable/disable you. These are forces that you don’t know,they exist. “
“Enabling Forces? …What? …We are the immortal elements that make up life…No force needs to enable me to be me! ” Love replied.
“Do not get anxious, Love; yes, whether you like it or not there is something that has the ability to limit what you manage to achieve. This equally applies to you trio – Hope, Fear and Loss.”
Love, Hope, fear and Loss were baffled by what they heard.
“You are immortal beings that enable the experience of existence. This existence is made of a certain structure. The fluidity in the structure can exert its influence in the experience you immortals are capable of enabling. At the conscious level, a soul comprehends its experiences in three ways- Thought, emotion and virtue.
Thought and emotion – are the more common fluid collectors of experience. They are prone to fluctuate and change. They respond and react to circumstances. They are not characterised by consistency.
Virtue – on the other side is a less common but concrete comprehender of experience. It knows no change and no circumstantial pressures can influence its way. Virtue’s character is being consistent with what it committed to.
Love, Hope, Fear, and Loss – when you are lived as a thought or emotion, the nature of thought and emotion is to wither away and change in the way circumstantial pressures drive them. Hence you are bound to exist and then not exist, come and go as situations warrant. Virtue, by means of its rigidity and robustness gives into none and when you are lived as a virtue, no inconvenience, no amount of hurt, no circumstance gets to dethrone you.
Love, when lived as a virtue is the path of life,
Fear, when lived as a virtue is the birth place of courage that enables you to walk the path of love; and
Hope as a virtue lights the path when darkness fills.
I promised to enlighten you with three orders that will help you to live with yourselves, I can summarise the conversation i just had with you as:
Order I: You have absolute grip over who you are, but that exerts no control over the impact you have over another.
Order II: You have the capacity to accommodate the truth of another, if you exercise your willingness to be so.
Order III: You can be immortal, but It all comes down to virtue.“
Hope felt liberated, Love was full of gratitude, fear felt the urge to speak into the stillness of peace that was hovering in the void of that conversation,
“But wait! Hang on! …All of this makes sense. I’m convinced, well, almost! at least! But who are you? …. And, what happens to Loss as a virtue? … Why didn’t you talk about Loss as a virtue? …”
The voice laughed out loud.
Love and Hope exchanged their glances and giggles. Love cleared her voice, embraced Fear and whispered in her ears, “Don’t you get it! The answer is the same for both your questions! “
Fear looked bewildered.
The voice continued, “Let me break it for you. When loss endures as a virtue it becomes me. Nothing can enrich you more than hurt and loss. I am the enriched Wisdom”.
Fear felt a shiver down her and felt that she has found the one entity she can trust, believe, and ask questions.
Undisturbed by any of it, Wisdom continued, “Now that, you know your three orders, it isn’t a surprise that none of you are at fault here, If it is anyone’s fault in all of this, then it is mine. It is Wisdom that can enable these understandings to happen, so the greater dynamics of interaction between souls is less piercing, punishing and more endearing and enduring with the experiences you immortals have to offer. But, my limitation is that, I am in short supply. I seem to be special, sparse and rare!
…And Fear, if you are going to ask me about enabling existence to live virtues and not be carried away by thoughts and emotions, then let me tell you, that is a whole new conversation for another day…. !”
“Please don’t leave us and go away…..’”, Fear shouted as Wisdom wrapped up the conversation and prepared to walk away.
“There is no way I can go away. Once I am found, I am always here to stay.”– Wisdom waved out; and Love, Fear, Hope and Loss understood that there was no replacement to the peace Wisdom can make prevail.